Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Peace on Earth - What You Should to Know

If you ask people do they want peace on earth most will answer yes. However many fail to realize that peace on earth begins at home.

I am inspired to write this blog because a friend of mine recently experienced a family conflict where, with an open heart, he was simply trying to be helpful in giving his nephew advice. That advice was both solicited and well received  by the nephew. My friend, thinking he had done a good deed, was met with a backlash of outrage and anger from the nephew’s mother. She is refusing to communicate and has canceled the weekly dinners both families shared.

How does one cope with this unexpected burst of anger and how does one explain this type of behavior to a child especially at a time of year when families are normally gathered together in love?

I have similar conflict in my family and many others do as well.  Unfortunately, in some cases, this type of behavior often dates back for generations making it a learned behavior.

Considering this:
  • How can we have peace on earth if you’re unwilling to create peace within your own family?
  • Is this a behavior and a coping skill you want to teach to your children?
Quite simply conflict is caused by black and white thinking. It’s a mentality of “you are wrong and I am right and you must be the person I want you to be or I cut you out of my life.”

Black and white thinking is full of judgment, hatred, and anger. There is not even a hint of love. It’s the type of thinking that creates wars not only between families but between religions and countries.

Life is not black and white. Life is full of gray areas. When we open our minds and our hearts we can begin to release the anger and communicate with one another. When we begin to realize that the world is complex and people are complex we can become more forgiving, compassionate, and understanding, and we can start to create peace on earth right in our own homes.

If you want peace on earth then start now by realizing it begins at home. It begins with you by:
  • giving the benefit of the doubt,
  • keeping your heart open,
  • having compassion,
  • forgiving,
  • and communicating.
It’s simply impossible to bring down the walls of conflict without open and honest communication. A silent standoff never solved anything.  Peace on earth starts with you.

My wish for all of you this holiday season is Peace on Earth.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Which is Better, Gratitude or Appreciation?

Gratitude is a commonly used term these days. There are gratitude journals, gratitude challenges and gratitude quotes everywhere. Being grateful is a very good thing and has its place.

Although the words appreciation and gratitude are similar and often interchanged, appreciation produces a completely different “feeling” and a different emotion.

Let’s take a closer look at the definitions:


n a feeling of thankfulness, as for gifts or favors

Synonyms - acknowledgment, indebtedness, sense of obligation, thankfulness.

Gratitude is given for things that have changed such as improved health, a life that was spared, a larger house, a pay raise, etc... In other words, gratitude, being grateful, brings with it not only thanks for the improved situation but recognition of the past situation (poorer health, lesser pay, a smaller house, a life that was nearly lost).


n the act of estimating the qualities of things and giving them their proper value.

—clear perception or recognition

Synonyms – rise, increase, gain, grow, acknowledgement

We often appreciate the warmth of the sun, the beauty of a flower, the love of a child, the kindness of a stranger, a warm cozy bed…

If you put a visual to the words, gratitude would look more like being on your knees giving thanks whereas appreciation looks like standing tall with arms stretched out toward the sky.
Now that yu know the difference, what will you choose today, gratitude or appreciation? Or maybe both?

Monday, May 27, 2013

What’s Your Emotional Identity?

Our emotions change throughout the day. It’s possible to experience a wide range of emotions even in a short period of time. You can go from happiness to sadness, anger, or fear depending on what’s happening around you. But a person’s emotional “identity” stems from their consciousness, their internal belief system.

There are 7 core emotions or “identities” on the Energetic Self Perception Chart developed by Dr. Bruce Schneider and each is tied to a conscious belief.

  1. Apathy – Victim

  2. Anger – Conflict

  3. Forgiveness – Responsibility

  4. Compassion – Concern

  5. Peace – Reconciliation

  6. Joy – Synthesis

  7. Absolute Passion – Non-judgment

Where you reside on this chart affects every aspect of your life. If you are resonating at a level 1, feeling like a victim, then you see no use in trying because you believe you will not succeed. The action associated with this core energy is “apathy” and the associated thought is, “I’ll lose so why even bother trying?” But if you are resonating at a higher level, life is more fulfilling, good things happen, life is fun and exciting!

The good news is, with some work, your emotional identity can be shifted. It is not necessary to live life as a victim or in anger.

What is your energy frequency, your emotional identity? What are you attracting into your life? Contact me to learn more or to take the Your Fear Factor process and assessment. Start managing your energy today!
Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics. –Unknown (attributed to Einstein)

Monday, May 6, 2013

The Difference Between Acceptance, Surrender and Giving Up

Sometimes when faced with tough life challenges we refuse to accept it because acceptance can feel like giving up but there is a huge difference.

Acceptance is simply an acknowledgement of the situation. Acceptance is saying, “Okay, here’s the situation. I accept that I am here.”

Surrender is yet another step. Think about some of our greatest war heroes that were captured and held in prison camps for decades but eventually either escaped or were released. They surrendered, but they never gave up.

Giving up means admitting defeat. It’s saying, “I have lost. There’s no sense in trying anymore.”

When I was in the battle of my lifetime for my health, I read an article written by a psychologist suffering from the same illness. Her advice was to never accept it. But I disagreed. I had tried that for years and it felt like a constant battle. The moment I said, “Okay, this is where I am. I accept it. Now what?” my health started to improve. Interesting, don’t you think?

The next step was surrender. Surrender means stopping the fight against forces that you cannot control. Surrender allows you to reserve your energy for later. It’s the process of letting go. It does not mean giving up. In my case, I surrendered to my higher power - my source, my soul.

Once I surrendered, it was as if I was handed a map with a big arrow that said, "You are here!"  I could finally see the way out. It was a critical step in my recovery. Those two simple acts released so much counterproductive energy and allowed my body to use that energy in a productive manner - to heal.

So no matter what challenge you face today or in the future, health-related or otherwise, never give up! Instead, first, accept and then surrender.
Be well…

Monday, April 29, 2013

Obtaining Instant Inner Peace

The most effective way to obtain inner peace is to meditate, to be still, to sit in the silence and let the voice of your higher power seep within you. Meditation is a process of quieting the mind but that’s not always a simple task. Luckily, it doesn’t matter if you successfully push all those thoughts away or not. Even the act of trying is effective and the benefits of meditation are compounded with each session.

Sometimes life can throw us a curveball at a time when isn’t convenient to meditate. You may be at work, a party, driving, etc. Here are a few tips for tapping back into your inner peace during times like these.
  • Say “So what!” So what? What’s the big deal? How important is this in the grand scheme of things anyway?

  • Remember that everyone is operating from their own agenda. What people say and do is more about them than it is about you.

  • Making people happy can be fun but you were not put here to please people. That is not your primary purpose. And the same holds true for them. Keep that in mind next time someone upsets you or is upset with you.

  • View the situation as an observer. If you can step back and view the situation as a third person, as an observer as opposed to a participant, how would it change what you see?

  • Take responsibility but never blame. Blaming gives away your control. You can get an immediate sense of relief by taking responsibility and saying things like, “Okay, I walked into that.” or “I didn’t see that coming. How can I learn from this?”

These tips can be extremely helpful but remember, meditating regularly is the best means for obtaining long-lasting inner peace.

Monday, April 22, 2013

How to Live Life on Purpose

Too often people find themselves caught up in the everyday routine of life. They simply go through the motions letting life slip by unfulfilled. But it is possible and far more rewarding to live with purpose! Here are a few steps that will help you live life on purpose.

  • Know What You Really Want – The most important step is knowing what it is that you really want. It’s impossible to live on purpose without a sense of direction.
  • Be Passionate – Live every day with passion, drive, determination, and perseverance!
  • Be Positive – Don’t allow minor setbacks get you down. They happen. Take them in stride.
  • Be Appreciative – Take time to acknowledge and appreciate even the small things.
  • Connect with People – This is where opportunities show up.
  • Take Responsibility – Don’t blame others for the happenings in your life. Accept that you have no control over others but you have total control over YOU!
  • Choose Your Emotional Response – Choose how you respond to events and circumstances. Learn to turn problems into opportunities.
  • Be Content with Where You Are – Be determined and persistent, but don’t push. Instead, go with the flow.
Everyone has a purpose. Everyone! If you’re not sure what your purpose is, contact me. I can help.

Make a decision to live life on purpose!

Monday, April 15, 2013

How to Effectively Change Your Past

Past events, whether viewed as good or bad, a triumph or a tragedy make up who we are and how we respond to life. Yet some choose to continually suffer from their past feeling betrayed, bitter, angry and even guilty. These people feel a total loss of control over their lives and will tell anyone who’s listening, “I can’t change the past.” While it is true that past events can’t be changed, there is something you can change. You can change the way you think about the past.

By the time I reached my mid-twenties I realized that the dysfunctional household I grew up in was more the norm than the exception. Angry, fighting parents who were incapable of uttering the word “love” was the standard in our household. It was in my thirties that I began to recognize my parents as people. People who were simply doing the best they could during difficult times, people who couldn’t say “I love you” because it had never been said to them.

Once this shift in my “view of the past” occurred, I was able to put it to rest and move on with my life in a positive direction. Everyone has the power to do this.

While there are many, many horrible things that happen to people, there is nothing that can’t be cured with love, understanding, and forgiveness.  It’s not always easy but it always works!

The unhappiness that you may feel over past events is entirely a creation of your mind and the way you choose to think about your past. We may not have control over many things in this world but the one thing you will always have control over are your thoughts.
Change your thoughts and you change your world. —Norman Vincent Peale

Monday, April 8, 2013

Empowering Your Health & Wellness

Yesterday I received an urgent message from a friend. Her 30+-year-old daughter was in for a regular OB-GYN visit when they discovered her blood pressure was an alarming 176/116.

According to the American Heart Association, blood pressure of 180 systolic (top number) or 120 diastolic (bottom number) constitutes a “Hypertensive Urgency” and the dangers include stroke, loss of consciousness, memory loss, heart attack, damage to the eyes and kidneys, loss of kidney function, aortic dissection, angina, pulmonary edema, and seizures.  All very serious conditions for a young working professional, wife and mother of two.

While the patient’s numbers weren’t quite at 180/120, they were frighteningly close. She was treated in the emergency room by a physician's assistant who performed a semi-thorough evaluation and indicated that the patient was stressed-out. The PA advised my friend’s daughter to “just chill out.”  Chill out? Seriously?  And exactly how does someone with dangerously high blood pressure, sitting in an emergency room with a husband who’s away on business, two small children at home and a corporate job waiting on her “just chill out”?

The questions this blog addresses are:
  • When and how do you stand up and take control of your medical affairs?

  • What do you do when you receive less than satisfactory service from a medical professional?

I have devoted a portion of my forthcoming book, Healing Broken Wings on how to deal with doctors and other medical professionals but for now, I will provide a few tips that you can use right now.
  1. Know who you are speaking to.
  2. Don’t be afraid to ask the medical professional who they are, namely their status (doctor, physician’s assistant, nurse practitioner, etc) and how long they have been practicing.
  3. Ask them about their experience with your particular problem.
  4. Don’t settle for vague answers such as “all doctors are trained in this area.”
  5. If you are not comfortable with the answers you receive, ask for someone else. For example, in this case, I would have wanted to see a doctor, not a PA.
  6. Follow your gut.  If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.  This is probably the most important tip I can give you.
  7. Never follow through with a treatment or medication that you are not completely comfortable with.  Do your own research.
  8. Get a second opinion or even a third opinion.  Don’t stop until you are satisfied and comfortable with the answers you receive.

Quite simply, your health is your responsibility and every decision is under your control.  As a patient, you are 100% responsible for your choices in treatments, therapies and even the medications you take unless you are unconscious.  

Part of your job as a patient is to educate yourself. Your health care is probably the most important service you will ever buy yet it is the area where people ask the fewest questions. 

Friday, March 29, 2013

Adding Power to Your Prayer

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you prayed over and over again like a child pleading with a parent? I know I have. In order for prayer to be effective, it must be more than mere words repeated over and over again.

Prayer is defined as spiritual communication with a divine supreme being. Prayer is not always directed at God. Some pray to saints, to Jesus, to Buddha, etc. No matter who you choose to pray to, there are a few necessary components to praying effectively.

Here are a few secrets to effective praying:

  • Prayers should be specific. Have you ever heard the expression, “Watch what you ask for, you just might get it”? Be very specific when you pray.
  • Prayers must come from the heart and have “feeling” behind them, real, emotional feeling.
  • When praying, be focused on the desired outcome. Visualize it as if it has occurred. Feel it.
  • All prayers should end with a “thank you” and the acknowledgement (belief) that the prayer has been answered.
  • The person praying must feel worthy of receiving.
If you are praying and realize you have forgotten what you just said, chances are you are just repeating words. If you are simply repeating words, there is no power behind your prayer.

What will you pray for today and how will you pray?
Matthew 6:7  "And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words."

Friday, March 22, 2013

Things that are Zapping Your Personal Power Right Now

Why is personal power important?  Your personal power dictates whether you react to or respond to events and circumstances.  A high level of personal power can guide you to achievement. A low level will create limitations in every aspect of your life.

Your personal power is totally under your control and it’s your responsibility to manage and maintain you power.  Here are a few tips to assist you in the process.

  • Stop listening to commercials – Have you listened to commercials lately? They are full of disaster and destruction to personal property, your health and the world in general.  Keep these negative “shoutings” turned off! If you must watch TV, mute the commercials. The world is a much brighter, happier, healthier place than the media would like you to believe.

  • Gossiping – Gossiping or listening to gossip will put an immediate drain on your energy.  Next time you have the urge to stand around the water cooler and participate in the gossip, pay attention to how it feels in your gut and notice what happens to your energy.

  • Judging & blaming – Judging and blaming has the same result as gossiping.  The difference is, you can judge and blame all by yourself. You can even judge and blame yourself. Start making a mental note of how much judging and blaming you do on a daily basis.

  • Being Angry – Being in a state of anger will zap your power quicker than anything else! The minute you become angry, you lose your ability to see things clearly, you lose perspective and are guaranteed to make poor decisions.  Everyone gets angry. Since sometimes it’s unavoidable, promise yourself that you will not make decisions until your anger is under control.

  • Regrets over the past/ Worrying about the future – Your personal power resides in the “now,” in this very moment. The minute you get caught up in regrets or guilt over the past or worry about the future, your personal power is gone. Remember, your power is in the NOW.

  • Ignoring your inner voice – Every person has been blessed with instinct and intuition. Instincts help keep us safe. Instinct makes our hair stand on end and tells us to run from danger. Intuition, on the other hand, helps us to avoid dangerous situations. It’s that “feeling” that something isn’t quite right, that inner voice that tells you to turn left when you’re lost. Learning to tap into your intuition will boost your personal power.
Empowerment is a process. It can be learned. Contact me for more information.